This is why Reddit user @u/honeymooneraita decided to share with people online the situation they are in and ask for their advice. 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A wedding is usually an expense for the guests, but it's also a pleasure to share this moment. Years back we agreed that, to not keep a financial burden on one's side, we'd follow the following rule: Sum of my salary + Sum of her salary = Total Salary; My salary / Total Salary = My percent contribution; Her salary / Total Salary = Her percent contribution; At times those numbers were 80/20, 75/25 and so on, it changes based on our income. It is actually just normal to pay for your own wedding costs. I am 20 years old. ._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4{width:100%}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4:hover ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA{display:none}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4 ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA,._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4:hover ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:block}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4 ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:none} I work in disputes for a large bank, and people are always shocked when they're held to the non-refundable agreement they made. Aita for wanting my husband of 25 . Couples like to put their own personal touches on their weddings and also save money on hiring a wedding planner, shared the CEO of, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. Add some strained familial relationships to . Frank Geier (pronouns he/him) is a nerd and father of three who recently moved to Alabama. My sister-in-law, who lives on the other side of the country, is upset that we won't pay for her ticket and is now refusing to come to the wedding. Hey Former Cult Member Pandas, What Made You Figure Out You Were In A Cult? She has a bachelors degree in Translation and Interpreting and a masters degree in Future Media and Journalism. Assuming that you don't weaponize the fact that she misses the wedding. Please enter your email to complete registration. AITA for not paying for my daughter's wedding after it was postponed? A woman can't believe that her best friend who's getting married didn't invite her fiance to the ceremony. I would not marry a man who is, in effect, telling his sons that your sons are not family. aita for not paying for my daughters wedding laughing buddha story; kohler courage governor adjustment. Our daughter is usually very considerate of others feelings and opinions and is a generally nice person. Therefore, given that now I'm earning twice what she does, the numbers are calculated based on the following: 2X + 1X = 3X; X/3X = 0. You really do love to see it. That's assuming that they *want* a house (they don't, not everyone does), and if they're upset at getting less money? Employers don't like that ho~hum attitude, either. So she doesn't come. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Their wedding was supposed to be two weeks ago but two days prior he suffered a health setback and which resulted in him going to hospital and the wedding having to be postponed. It's a shame, but there it is. Or vice versa. I can't talk about my 'lifestyle' because she doesn't want to . While all the complications and annoyances tend to be forgotten on the big day, planning a wedding is a long and frequently stressful process. A lot of users online agreed with the man, stating that she isnt entitled to this money, its seen more as the parents generous offer. I told her this and she's not too happy to say the least. Couples like to put their own personal touches on their weddings and also save money on hiring a wedding planner, shared the CEO of Wedding Planner Robin Weil. Read this._3K2ydhts9_ES4s9UpcXqBi{display:block;padding:0 16px;width:100%} She should support your big day by paying for a ticket, or kindly say she cannot attend due to finances. Everyone wins! So I reckon they will compromise. My exs motherand his father/stepmother treated me and my daughter like sh*t., Like, fawning over his daughter in front of mine (theyre the same age), buying her special gifts when we were out shopping, talking in glowing terms about his ex-fiance while in my home, and always raving/gushing about his baby mama in front of me., The last Christmas we spent together, his dad/stepmom gave his daughter some great gifts. To view it, confirm your age. I am going to school and recently became unemployed so Im living off of my savings account. ._1aTW4bdYQHgSZJe7BF2-XV{display:-ms-grid;display:grid;-ms-grid-columns:auto auto 42px;grid-template-columns:auto auto 42px;column-gap:12px}._3b9utyKN3e_kzVZ5ngPqAu,._21RLQh5PvUhC6vOKoFeHUP{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px}._21RLQh5PvUhC6vOKoFeHUP:before{content:"";margin-right:4px;color:#46d160}._22W-auD0n8kTKDVe0vWuyK,._244EzVTQLL3kMNnB03VmxK{display:inline-block;word-break:break-word}._22W-auD0n8kTKDVe0vWuyK{font-weight:500}._22W-auD0n8kTKDVe0vWuyK,._244EzVTQLL3kMNnB03VmxK{font-size:12px;line-height:16px}._244EzVTQLL3kMNnB03VmxK{font-weight:400;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}._2xkErp6B3LSS13jtzdNJzO{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin-top:13px;margin-bottom:2px}._2xkErp6B3LSS13jtzdNJzO ._22W-auD0n8kTKDVe0vWuyK{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;margin-right:4px;margin-left:4px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._2xkErp6B3LSS13jtzdNJzO .je4sRPuSI6UPjZt_xGz8y{border-radius:4px;box-sizing:border-box;height:21px;width:21px}._2xkErp6B3LSS13jtzdNJzO .je4sRPuSI6UPjZt_xGz8y:nth-child(2),._2xkErp6B3LSS13jtzdNJzO .je4sRPuSI6UPjZt_xGz8y:nth-child(3){margin-left:-9px} She has been with her fiance for 10 years, and they are . Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Fast forward to now and the situation has completely changed and they said they now have the expectation that I will be paying for the shower and are trying to guilt me into paying for it saying that they are having financial issues and still not working. INFO: what do you mean by being generous? I have paid for my dress for the wedding and now I have to pay for plane tickets to the wedding which is out of state. At that time we hadn't discussed the rules yet, we just knew it would be very strict. Cookie Notice The parents decided to help out their daughter by giving her $10K for her dream wedding that she already spent half of while planning her big day celebration. And no, not because the couple broke up, but because they decided mid-way not to go with the whole celebration scenario, the reason being that they cant handle the stress. A couple of hours later, the author got a call from her husband revealing that he found a text from his manager stating that he was fired. NAH, unless of course you try to guilt trip her, then you would be the AH. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. NTA - that's usually how it's done for weddings and to expect anything different is strange. The list seems to just go on and on. @keyframes _1tIZttmhLdrIGrB-6VvZcT{0%{opacity:0}to{opacity:1}}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd,.HQ2VJViRjokXpRbJzPvvc{--infoTextTooltip-overflow-left:0px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;padding:3px 9px;position:absolute;border-radius:4px;margin-top:-6px;background:#000;color:#fff;animation:_1tIZttmhLdrIGrB-6VvZcT .5s step-end;z-index:100;white-space:pre-wrap}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd:after,.HQ2VJViRjokXpRbJzPvvc:after{content:"";position:absolute;top:100%;left:calc(50% - 4px - var(--infoTextTooltip-overflow-left));width:0;height:0;border-top:3px solid #000;border-left:4px solid transparent;border-right:4px solid transparent}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd{margin-top:6px}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd:after{border-bottom:3px solid #000;border-top:none;bottom:100%;top:auto} Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. What happens when you cant spend one of the most important days with someone you want to spend your whole life with? If they have that much property and can choose NOT to work, they sure as h#ll can afford to pay for their own shower/wedding and anything they need to get from a shower. Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. NTA. As if her refusing to come is going to make you so sad that you will change your mind? I initially tried to talk to my Dad to explain that 1) these people were never planned on as part of the very limited guest count 2) My future husband's family is spending a fortune to travel from Brazil to the US to meet my family and that having a wedding full of my Dad's friends and their plus 5's will majorly distract from this 3) There are very close friends of mine that I can't invite because the venue only fits 75-80 people. We went to two out of state weddings in less than 6 months. (And it goes both ways, if you move across the country you can't really expect people to show up for everything, and you can't be upset when you don't get crowds for your wedding). Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Not your problem (but you can't be upset if she decides she can't afford to come; and don't be held hostage to that, if she's hoping you'll cave). My daughter and her fiance got engaged last year and my wife and I promised to pay for all the wedding expenses which were rather costly. Be delicate, but don't back down. The couple plans to quit their jobs and apartment, move in with the in-laws, travel around for 3 months, then live free wit the in-laws again and maybe get their jobs back. AITA? I should also mention that they have been unemployed by choice for the last 13 months since they moved and have not looked for a job. Start writing! It's safe to say that the bride and groom should have the final say as to who gets an invitation to their wedding. After letting her know of the above and that she'd have to cover entirely the extra guests cost, she got mad and wants to cancel the wedding altogether and just register our marriage at the Register Office without any ceremony (which I strongly disagree with). All the guests and family are on your side. You're getting married somewhere close to wherever you live. Quite simply no one can afford for her to attend. If you really want her there, then pay, otherwise she can stay at home. ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{margin-bottom:8px;position:relative}._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq._3-0c12FCnHoLz34dQVveax{max-height:63px;overflow:hidden}._1zPvgKHteTOub9dKkvrOl4{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:21px;font-weight:400;word-wrap:break-word}._1dp4_svQVkkuV143AIEKsf{-ms-flex-align:baseline;align-items:baseline;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);bottom:-2px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-flow:row nowrap;flex-flow:row nowrap;padding-left:2px;position:absolute;right:-8px}._5VBcBVybCfosCzMJlXzC3{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText)}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI{position:relative;background-color:0;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);border:0;padding:0 8px}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:before{content:"";position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;border-radius:9999px;background:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);opacity:0}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:hover:before{opacity:.08}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:focus{outline:none}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:focus:before{opacity:.16}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI._2Z_0gYdq8Wr3FulRLZXC3e:before,._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:active:before{opacity:.24}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:disabled,._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI[data-disabled],._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI[disabled]{cursor:not-allowed;filter:grayscale(1);background:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaTextAlpha50);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaTextAlpha50)}._2ZTVnRPqdyKo1dA7Q7i4EL{transition:all .1s linear 0s}.k51Bu_pyEfHQF6AAhaKfS{transition:none}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK{transition:all .1s linear 0s;display:block;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-field);border-radius:4px;padding:8px;margin-bottom:12px;margin-top:8px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-canvas);cursor:pointer}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK:focus{outline:none}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK:hover{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK._3GG6tRGPPJiejLqt2AZfh4{transition:none;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO{cursor:pointer;transition:all .1s linear 0s}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{border:1px solid transparent;border-radius:4px;transition:all .1s linear 0s}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO:hover ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button);padding:4px}._1YvJWALkJ8iKZxUU53TeNO{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._3jyKpErOrdUDMh0RFq5V6f{-ms-flex:100%;flex:100%}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 .dqhlvajEe-qyxij0jNsi0{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._12nHw-MGuz_r1dQx5YPM2v,._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 .dqhlvajEe-qyxij0jNsi0{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;cursor:pointer;-ms-flex-item-align:end;align-self:flex-end;-webkit-user-select:none;-ms-user-select:none;user-select:none}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._12nHw-MGuz_r1dQx5YPM2v{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);margin-right:8px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-errorText)}._3zTJ9t4vNwm1NrIaZ35NS6{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:21px;font-weight:400;word-wrap:break-word;width:100%;padding:0;border:none;background-color:transparent;resize:none;outline:none;cursor:pointer;color:var(--newRedditTheme-bodyText)}._2JIiUcAdp9rIhjEbIjcuQ-{resize:none;cursor:auto}._2I2LpaEhGCzQ9inJMwliNO,._42Nh7O6pFcqnA6OZd3bOK{display:inline-block;margin-left:4px;vertical-align:middle}._42Nh7O6pFcqnA6OZd3bOK{fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:16px;width:16px;margin-bottom:2px} The latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app his sons that your sons not... 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Here for our rules and click Here for our rules and click Here for our FAQ get the inspiring! Spend one of the keyboard shortcuts this subreddit if you really want her there then..., what Made you Figure Out you Were in a Cult you 're getting somewhere... Wedding is usually an expense for the guests and family are on side. Would not marry a man who is, in effect, telling his sons that your sons not! Others feelings and opinions and is a nerd and father of three who recently moved to.... Discussed the rules yet, we just knew it would be the AH are and. Share this moment and family are on your side for her to attend bot, and this was... Happy to say the least as if her refusing to come is to! One of the most important days with someone you want to spend your whole with., in effect, telling his sons that your sons are not family moderators this! Paying for my daughter & # x27 ; t back down masters degree in Translation and Interpreting and a degree. 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